Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
