you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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