The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize