the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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