Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
