i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
