Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
