ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
