Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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