How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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