Christians are straight up FREAKS
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
