Barsexuality is the new black.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
