week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Terrible idea I love it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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