Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
