a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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