so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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