ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
