I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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