it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
