three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize