we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
