is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
being pregnant is like rehab
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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