I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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