its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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