im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize