is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize