Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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