White coat. Heels.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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