i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
