My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize