If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
