just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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