these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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