Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
