My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
