i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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