Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize