No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
