Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
