Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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