The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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