wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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