All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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