Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
