well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
