Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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