Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
