There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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