she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
