It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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