remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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