Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
