i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
