hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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