my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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