I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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