Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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