is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize