Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
