i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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