11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
