My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
