wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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