last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
